she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
Pro tip: When you spend the afternoon banging your boss, don’t meet your mother-in-law for dinner if you still smell like cum and watermelon flavored lube
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
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