Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
Randomize
