Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
Randomize
