I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Randomize