Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
I was so drunk at your wedding that Uber is now showing up in my Spotify recent searches.
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Randomize
