My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
You're earring is so big in my mouth
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
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