I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
Found your dick twin last night
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
Randomize
