I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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