like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
Randomize
