Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
