We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
Randomize
