I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
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