I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
Randomize
