I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
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