she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
I need a sign that says “please don’t make plans with me if I’ve had two or more drinks. I will regret them. I will have bitter feelings towards you. Then I will cancel and feel guilty.”
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
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