I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
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