Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
Randomize
