I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
I will pee on everything he values.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Randomize
