Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
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