I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
Randomize
