So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
did you just send me my own nude
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Randomize
