Screwed.edu
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
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