Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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