I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
Randomize
