kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Randomize
