I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
Randomize
