You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
