Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
I feel like a drive thru vagina
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
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