i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
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