so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
He? As in you personified your dick?
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize
