You're so nebulous sometimes
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Randomize
