I'm really into asian looking animals
So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
Randomize
