brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
Randomize
