I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
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