HIV tests are more positive than that guy
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Randomize
