I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
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