Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
