I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
we're so committed to being not committed
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
Randomize
