i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
Randomize
