I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
Can you repeat that, but with context?
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
Randomize
