she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
Of course I have a pirate flag
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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