Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize
