i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Randomize
