we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
I deserve this hangover.
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
Randomize