East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
Randomize