it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
