just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
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