If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
