Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
