So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
Randomize
