Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
Randomize
