Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
Randomize
