apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
Randomize
