Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
