Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
Randomize