I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
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