I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
Randomize
