2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
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