Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
Randomize
