my vag is so smooth its legendary
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
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